[NIFL-ESL:5302] Possible language changes in the EU ?

From: Michael Wildhack (wildhack@albatros.cnb.net)
Date: Mon Nov 20 2000 - 11:13:13 EST


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From: "Michael Wildhack " <wildhack@albatros.cnb.net>
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Subject: [NIFL-ESL:5302] Possible language changes in the EU ?
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Friends - 

I am reasonably sure that this was intended to be a joke ... 
and I surely enjoyed a good laugh ... but since the subject has 
been hotly debated on various national and international e-lists
over the years, I thought I would share it with you-all.  Enjoy ! 

**********
Subject: New European Language

New European Language

[ Good to know for those of us working with internationalisation... ]

The European Commission have just announced an 
agreement 
whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather 
than
German,which was the other possibility.  As part of the 
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 
year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":

In the first year, "s" will replace 
the soft "c"..  Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  
The hard"c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".  
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1
less letter.
 
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". 
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.  
 
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are 
possible.
 
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre 
that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, 
and they should go away.
 
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
 
During ze fifz 
year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
 
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis 
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
 
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !  

----------------------------------
Spelling reform, anyone ? 



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