Return-Path: <nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov> Received: from literacy (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.10.2/8.10.2) with SMTP id gAG0s6X15289; Fri, 15 Nov 2002 19:54:06 -0500 (EST) Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2002 19:54:06 -0500 (EST) Message-Id: <NGBBKMIGOLDNPLGIJNIDAEMHCCAA.mona@hispanicsolutions.com> Errors-To: listowner@literacy.nifl.gov Reply-To: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Originator: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Sender: nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov Precedence: bulk From: "Mona Curtis" <mona@hispanicsolutions.com> To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov> Subject: [NIFL-ESL:8320] RE: English - the craziest language? X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook IMO, Build 9.0.2416 (9.0.2911.0) Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; Status: O Content-Length: 5136 Lines: 210 I've seen and read many things like this, but I wonder if all languages aren't the same. The only other language I know fairly well is Spanish and, at least from my perspective, it doesn't seem to have the idocyncracies English does but I've always thought that it was just because I spend a lot of my time try to explain English to non-natives and yes it's pretty complicated. But I wonder if all languages aren't the same when you start trying to explain them. -----Original Message----- From: nifl-esl@nifl.gov [mailto:nifl-esl@nifl.gov]On Behalf Of Paul Rogers Sent: Monday, November 04, 2002 2:00 PM To: Multiple recipients of list Subject: [NIFL-ESL:8303] English - the craziest language? > SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO > LEARN ENGLISH? > >> > >> > >> This little treatise on the lovely language we > share is only for the > >> brave. > >> A linguist, original author unknown, passed it > on. Peruse at your > >> leisure, > >> English lovers. > >> > >> A FEW Reasons why the English language is so > hard to learn: > >> > >> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. > >> 2) The farm was used to produce produce. (You > may get an error here > >> on > >> your > >> grammar check, it's even confused) > >> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse > more refuse. > >> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. > >> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. > >> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in > the desert. > >> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he > thought it was time to > >> present the present. > >> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass > drum. > >> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. > (another grammar > >> check) > >> 10) I did not object to the object. > >> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. > >> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how > to row. > >> 13) They were too close to the door to close it. > >> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are > present. > >> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a > sewer line. > >> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his > sow to sow. > >> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. > >> 18) After a number of injections my jaw got > number. > >> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed > a tear. > >> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of > tests. > >> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate > friend? > >> > >> > >> > >> Let's face it - English is a crazy language. > >> > >> > >> > >> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; > neither apple nor > >> pine > > in > >> pineapple. > >> English muffins weren't invented in England or > French fries in France. > >> > >> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which > aren't sweet, are > >> meat. > >> > >> > >> > >> We take English for granted. But if we explore > its paradoxes, we find > > that > >> quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are > square and a guinea pig is > >> neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. > >> > >> > >> > >> And why is it that writers write but fingers > don't fing, grocers don't > >> groce > >> and hammers don't ham? > >> > >> > >> > >> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the > plural of booth beeth? > >> > >> > >> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? > >> > >> > >> One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that > you can make amends > >> but > >> not > >> one amend. > >> > >> > >> > >> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid > of all but one of > > them, > >> what do you call it? > >> > >> > >> > >> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers > praught? If a vegetarian > >> eats > >> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? > >> > >> > >> > >> Sometimes I think all the English speakers should > be committed to an > > asylum > >> for the verbally insane. > >> > >> > >> > >> In what language do people recite at a play and > play at a recital? > >> > >> > >> > >> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? > >> > >> > >> > >> Have noses that run and feet that smell? > >> > >> > >> > >> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the > same, while a wise man > >> and > > a > >> wise guy are opposites? > >> > >> > >> > >> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a > language in which your > >> house > >> can burn up as it burns down, > >> > >> in which you fill in a form by filling it out > >> > >> and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. > >> > >> > >> English was invented by people, not computers, > and it reflects the > >> creativity of the human race, which, of course, > is not a race at all. > >> > >> > >> That is why, when the stars are out, they are > visible, but when the > > lights > >> are out, they are invisible. > >> > >> > >> My father's favorite comment on the rain, "If it > keeps up it can't > >> come > >> down > >> and if it comes down it can't keep up!" > >> > >> > >> PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick". > ......" > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? 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