[NIFL-ESL:8323] RE: English - the craziest language?

From: Barb Linek (eslmax@hotmail.com)
Date: Mon Nov 18 2002 - 12:06:44 EST 

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From: "Barb Linek" <eslmax@hotmail.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-esl@literacy.nifl.gov>
Subject: [NIFL-ESL:8323] RE: English - the craziest language?
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"English is crazy" has always been our class motto.  English is crazier than other languages because it's a composite of several languages instead of developing neatly from one language.  An excellent, easy-to-read book on the subject is Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson, the journalist who wrote Tuesdays at Morrie's. 

 I fought the idea of going into TESOL after being a French teacher for many years.  I knew the language was too unruly to explain.  However, I had friends who moved here from Germany and I helped them learn English.  They convinced me that I was good at it and I should go into the field. So I did and I love it!

Barb Linek

Project MAX

Adult Education Services Coordinator
(815) 609-9935
eslmax@hotmail.com
>From: "Mona Curtis"
>Reply-To: nifl-esl@nifl.gov
>To: Multiple recipients of list
>Subject: [NIFL-ESL:8320] RE: English - the craziest language?
>Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2002 19:52:59 -0500 (EST)
>
>I've seen and read many things like this, but I wonder if all languages
>aren't the same. The only other language I know fairly well is Spanish and,
>at least from my perspective, it doesn't seem to have the idocyncracies
>English does but I've always thought that it was just because I spend a lot
>of my time try to explain English to non-natives and yes it's pretty
>complicated. But I wonder if all languages aren't the same when you start
>trying to explain them.
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: nifl-esl@nifl.gov [mailto:nifl-esl@nifl.gov]On Behalf Of Paul
>Rogers
>Sent: Monday, November 04, 2002 2:00 PM
>To: Multiple recipients of list
>Subject: [NIFL-ESL:8303] English - the craziest language?
>
>
>
> > SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO
> > LEARN ENGLISH?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> This little treatise on the lovely language we
> > share is only for the
> > >> brave.
> > >> A linguist, original author unknown, passed it
> > on. Peruse at your
> > >> leisure,
> > >> English lovers.
> > >>
> > >> A FEW Reasons why the English language is so
> > hard to learn:
> > >>
> > >> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> > >> 2) The farm was used to produce produce. (You
> > may get an error here
> > >> on
> > >> your
> > >> grammar check, it's even confused)
> > >> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
> > more refuse.
> > >> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
> > >> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> > >> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
> > the desert.
> > >> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he
> > thought it was time to
> > >> present the present.
> > >> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
> > drum.
> > >> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> > (another grammar
> > >> check)
> > >> 10) I did not object to the object.
> > >> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> > >> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how
> > to row.
> > >> 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
> > >> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are
> > present.
> > >> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
> > sewer line.
> > >> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
> > sow to sow.
> > >> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> > >> 18) After a number of injections my jaw got
> > number.
> > >> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed
> > a tear.
> > >> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
> > tests.
> > >> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
> > friend?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
> > neither apple nor
> > >> pine
> > > in
> > >> pineapple.
> > >> English muffins weren't invented in England or
> > French fries in France.
> > >>
> > >> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
> > aren't sweet, are
> > >> meat.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> We take English for granted. But if we explore
> > its paradoxes, we find
> > > that
> > >> quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
> > square and a guinea pig is
> > >> neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> And why is it that writers write but fingers
> > don't fing, grocers don't
> > >> groce
> > >> and hammers don't ham?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
> > plural of booth beeth?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that
> > you can make amends
> > >> but
> > >> not
> > >> one amend.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
> > of all but one of
> > > them,
> > >> what do you call it?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
> > praught? If a vegetarian
> > >> eats
> > >> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Sometimes I think all the English speakers should
> > be committed to an
> > > asylum
> > >> for the verbally insane.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> In what language do people recite at a play and
> > play at a recital?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
> > same, while a wise man
> > >> and
> > > a
> > >> wise guy are opposites?
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
> > language in which your
> > >> house
> > >> can burn up as it burns down,
> > >>
> > >> in which you fill in a form by filling it out
> > >>
> > >> and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> English was invented by people, not computers,
> > and it reflects the
> > >> creativity of the human race, which, of course,
> > is not a race at all.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> That is why, when the stars are out, they are
> > visible, but when the
> > > lights
> > >> are out, they are invisible.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> My father's favorite comment on the rain, "If it
> > keeps up it can't
> > >> come
> > >> down
> > >> and if it comes down it can't keep up!"
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick".
> > ......"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>_________________________________________________________________
> >
>
>
>__________________________________________________
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