Received: (from news@localhost) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.7.6/8.7.3) id LAA24087 for nifl-family@novel.nifl.gov; Thu, 5 Dec 1996 11:41:54 -0500 (EST) Path: literacy.nifl.gov!nifl-family@literacy.nifl.gov From: RJurczyk@aol.com Newsgroups: nifl.family Subject: Interact: coping with holidays Date: 5 Dec 1996 11:41:51 -0500 Organization: National Institute for Literacy Lines: 51 Sender: listproc@literacy.nifl.gov Distribution: nifl Message-ID: <961205113927_1253346311@emout13.mail.aol.com> Reply-To: nifl-family@literacy.nifl.gov NNTP-Posting-Host: literacy.nifl.gov Originator: nifl-family@literacy.nifl.gov Status: O X-Status: After posting the message on dealing with holidays, I found found an article by Lillian Katz on "Family Gatherings" in the ERIC PARENTING newsletter. It is composed of a variety of experiences from subscribers from an ERIC listserv and has some very good suggestions which could be incorporated into Parent Group. If you would like to read more of this article and others, they are available at the ERIC Clearinghouse for Elementary Education at: www:http://ericps.ed.uiuc.edu/ericeece.html Robin Jurczyk nifl-family moderator rjurczyk@aol.com ********************* There are times when those family celebrations don't work out exactly as planned. For instance, we have always been the ones who have had to travel to family gatherings because we have lived on a coast (both) and our families are in the Midwest. They have, without exception, been no fun or downright horrible for one reason or another. Perhaps I can pass along some tips for getting through the horribles. *Prepare yourselves and the children: If Grandma smokes like a chimney, try to see that the children sleep away from her room. If you are expected to take part in activities, inquire about age-appropriate things for the kids, babysitting possibilities, necessary clothes. *Incorporate some of your nuclear family's traditions into the larger group, e.g., cinnamon rolls for Christmas breakfast. *Do fun things before and after the trip that are special for your nuclear family. You may also want to take time out for your own family during the trip, just to blow off steam if your relatives are driving you crazy. *Invite a friend. People are sometimes inhibited from exhibiting their worst holiday grumpiness in the presence of a non-family member. *Understand why people are behaving like they are. *Use the opportunity to quiz family members about family history. This always produces fun conversation, and it is really good for the children to hear the stories. *Have a couple of secret presents packed away, even for yourself. *Don't overload your luggage with gifts, if you fly. They may get lost or be crushed or stolen. Ship ahead or buy them when you get there." There may also be some tensions regarding child-rearing issues when families come together. Dr. Lilian Katz (1983) in Child-Rearing Disagreements from our Parent Library has some suggestions: *Exercise restraint so that most of the detailed argument can be played out away from the child. *Develop a list of the issues which may spark disagreements and set aside time to discuss them. *Remember, sensitive issues may be associated with painful memories of your childhood. *Total agreement is not necessary; it is probably helpful for a child to observe how an adult accommodates differences.
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