[NIFL-WOMENLIT:1022] Re: Therapy supports

From: AWilder106@aol.com
Date: Thu Sep 28 2000 - 09:49:34 EDT


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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1022] Re: Therapy supports
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Jenny,

I feel I should reframe this conversation a little.  

Survivors aren't strong, really.  We can do a lot, cope with a lot, but there 
are fault lines in our characters that people who haven't been abused don't 
have.  And we may always be vulnerable to certain kinds of stress, meaning 
that memories come back because they are burned into our brain circuits.  We 
have to learn how to cope with a society which stigmatizes us and people who 
are afraid of us if we open our mouths about these things.  I happen to be 
with a group of people to whom horrible things have happened, to them or 
their relatives, and my experiences are no more than a drop in the bucket to 
them.  No exactly ho-hum, but par for (some) courses.  What happened to me 
was bad luck.  It could have happened to anybody else at any other time, but 
I was there at the wrong place and the wrong time with the wrong people.  

The best thing I can say to a teacher is to get the student a referral and 
then get out of the way.  Teach.  Good teachers are highly skilled at working 
with all types of students.  Respect what we are trying to accomplish and 
help us out.  Every teacher should put together their own safety net.

Depending on the degree of damage medical help may be necessary for some of 
us.  Abuse CAN cause physiological change that medicine helps.  It's like a 
cast for a broken leg, or a wrist splint.

I know a lot of teachers don't understand these things and want to help and 
don't know what to do.  Hats off to them.  They'll seek answers, like Daphne 
did.  And they'll learn to manage their own issues so as to be better 
teachers.  I did, and so have other teachers who come from a background of 
abuse.

Gotta run--I've got a day job off the list--and thanks for listening.

Andrea



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