[NIFL-WOMENLIT:1030] Re: Therapy supports

From: Sylvan Rainwater (sylrain@teleport.com)
Date: Sat Sep 30 2000 - 13:06:06 EDT


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From: Sylvan Rainwater <sylrain@teleport.com>
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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1030] Re: Therapy supports
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At 09:48 AM 9/28/2000 -0400, you wrote:
>Jenny,
>
>I feel I should reframe this conversation a little.  
>
>Survivors aren't strong, really.  We can do a lot, cope with a lot, but there 
>are fault lines in our characters that people who haven't been abused don't 
>have.  And we may always be vulnerable to certain kinds of stress, meaning 
>that memories come back because they are burned into our brain circuits.<SNIP>


All this is true. I relate to this because my partner has cancer, and
sometimes people say we are brave, strong, etc., because we are surviving
this. Well, yes, but ... I wrote a poem about discovering that you can often
find an unexpected ability to swim when you are thrown into shark-infested
waters, and that friendly dolphins help.

I recently was honored to witness a woman's disclosure of early childhood
abuse to a small trusted group. She gasped it out amidst panic attacks and
with constant reassurance from a suport person. But she did it. I was awed
at her courage and strength. But you are right -- the damage to her psyche
is clear, and will be with her always. I hold no illusions that she's
"cured." There will always be a fragility about her amidst that strength
that has helped her to survive and got her out of that horrendous situation.

Really, we are all combinations of that blend of steel strength and fragile
weakness.


---------------------------------------------------------------
Sylvan Rainwater . Portland, Oregon, USA . sylrain@teleport.com



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