Return-Path: <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Received: from literacy (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.10.2/8.10.2) with SMTP id e9132H929143; Sat, 30 Sep 2000 23:02:17 -0400 (EDT)
Date: Sat, 30 Sep 2000 23:02:17 -0400 (EDT)
Message-Id: <006801c02b53$6bec44a0$b4009ad8@my-computer>
Errors-To: alcrsb@langate.gsu.edu
Reply-To: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Originator: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Sender: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Precedence: bulk
From: "Jenny Horsman" <jhorsman@idirect.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1032] Re: "Normal"
X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Type: text/plain;
Status: O
Content-Length: 4723
Lines: 82
Like Sue, I shouldn't really be writing - my reason that I am trying to get
ready to go away for a few days and keep finding more work to finish up! -
but I realized I do want to make one last (brief) comment about the whole
concept of normal. Your interesting comments Andrea reminded me that I
hadn't answered Daphne's question about the dangers of using the concept of
normal - I'll include her framing of the issue below.
I did struggle a lot with the impact of using "normal" as I do - I worried
that it could get taken up to suggest that violence is normal and so OK -
but I continued to use it, even after conversations with other literacy
workers about whether another term might be better, because I think it draws
attention to the problem with thinking violence happens to the other and
with concepts of getting over trauma that suggest the person should "get
back to normal." I want to question whether there is a normal (violence
free) society to get back to. I wanted to open up talk about normal and
what it might mean - and particularly to question the way it is so hard not
to frame those of us who have been through violence as the "other" the not
"normal" - who then have to try to act normal. Tanya Lewis' wonderful work
("Living Beside: Performing Normal After Incest Memories Return") helped me
to begin to see that the pressure to "act normal" becomes a major part of
the problem. If people will not judge you, for instance when you space out,
then you can name that has happened, find out what you missed and even learn
about your own sensitivities from exploring what was happening when you
spaced out (this could be especially important for students in a class who
miss a crucial part of the lesson). But if you have to act "normal" then
you will try to pretend you didn't space out - and put energy into
disguising what is happening - not much chance then to become clearer about
your own experience or learn what you missed.
I think too though the recognition there may be many things others take for
granted that have not been learned in an abusive childhood is another
important point about what is normal. Clarissa Chandler talks about having
no concept of sleep or rest and having to learn that as an adult and
suggests that similarly there may be many "everyday" things that need to be
learned as an adult. Opening up talk about that in non-judgmental ways can
create the space for that to be explored which can also be some very
important "skills" and experiences for being able to learn.
I encourage you to really notice how you and others use the word normal.
Does that operate to preserve the status quo and to not reveal the extent of
violence or the problems with the way the world is? Does it create an
"other" category - if so what effect does this have? etc. etc.
I also just wanted to add to those earlier comments about using poetry that
I too have been using a huge range of poetry recently. With the women's
group I led I created a regular and predictable structure of ending with a
poem that I read to the group (and often they read as well). I chose it
carefully (usually during the session) to try to name and contain the
emotions and experiences that we had worked with during the session. A
favourite of my group was a Lillian Allen poem called Hold on Sister that
stresses women's strength and encourages us to "hold on" in spite of all the
problems we face. Women in the group I led always seemed to feel a little
better and a little more ready to go out into the world after hearing and
reading this.
OK enough, time to stop!
All the best,
Jenny
From: Daphne Greenberg <ALCDGG@langate.gsu.edu>
2. Jenny-in your book you discuss the importance of
realizing that unfortunately violence is part of the normal everyday lives
of our culture. I agree that this is important, that if we can stop
thinking about abuse and violence as happening to the "other" and instead
realize that it is happening to all of us, we will come a long way in terms
of taking away the stigma that many survivors feel, and we will, as a
society take that first step towards maybe finally doing something about it.
I have one concern. Do you think that we need to be worried about it
seeming too normal? If something is not seen as extraordinary, but instead
the ordinary, is there not the risk that society will then turn a deaf ear
to the cries of help? For example, the media inundates us with crimes every
day to the degree, that for a lot of us, we have become desensitized to the
horror of it all and it takes "only" really gruesome crimes to get our
attention. I would hate for this to happen with family violence. Do you
think that this is a worthy !
concern?
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Tue Jan 16 2001 - 14:46:46 EST