[NIFL-WOMENLIT:1206] assertiveness and gender

From: Daphne Greenberg (ALCDGG@langate.gsu.edu)
Date: Mon Feb 05 2001 - 10:22:56 EST


Return-Path: <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Received: from literacy (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.10.2/8.10.2) with SMTP id f15FMu903013; Mon, 5 Feb 2001 10:22:56 -0500 (EST)
Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 10:22:56 -0500 (EST)
Message-Id: <sa7e7e2a.067@langate.gsu.edu>
Errors-To: alcrsb@langate.gsu.edu
Reply-To: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Originator: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Sender: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov
Precedence: bulk
From: "Daphne Greenberg" <ALCDGG@langate.gsu.edu>
To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1206] assertiveness and gender
X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
X-Mailer: Novell GroupWise Internet Agent 5.5.3.1
Status: O
Content-Length: 2936
Lines: 62

Thanks for sharing this!  Like you and others who have posted, it is easier for me to also stand up for others, than it is for me to stand up for myself.
It would make an interesting study to compare men and women on this.
At the women and literacy conference, it was fascinating that a few of the keynote panelists started off by sharing that they did not know if they had the expertise to sit on the panel and represent the issues.  They then went on to give fascinating 
talks that showed that they definitely had the expertise.  Someone in the audience commented during the question/answer period, that she wondered how many men would begin their talks questioning their expertise.
Daphne
>>> m0199400@cwcom.net 02/04 7:06 AM >>>
I cannot resist telling you this:

For over 20 years I have been active in my trade union and have volunteered as a
advocate for people with learning difficulties and disabilities for years so I
am pretty well used to speaking up on behalf of other people.  About 12 years
ago, when I was still teaching women assertiveness, my class and I went out for
a bite to eat.  I ordered a salad sandwich, as did one of the other students.  I
was just about to take a bite when she stopped me, the lettuce obviously had not
been washed properly and something was crawling around on her sandwich.

It suddenly hit me that had I been alone I probably would have walked out of
that shop simply because I didn't want to cause a fuss (very English you might
now be thinking)  but as my role on that day was as an  'assertiveness teacher'
the others looked to me do something, so I complained, using all the right
techniques and our sandwiches were replaced.

Now I know from my time on the East Coast that complaining is a well developed
art, but at that moment in time I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.
Of course I did complain, well I had to, and we had our food replaced but to
this day that feeling of panic stays with me.

Dana, I don't know if it is a gender issue because my husband and father both
hate complaining even more than me.  I think it is about not wanting to stand
out or to offend people, even when you have the right to do so.

Sue

Dana Cooper wrote:

> >From: AWilder106@aol.com 
> >Date: Fri, 2 Feb 2001 14:02:13 -0500 (EST)
> >
> >It's easier for me to speak up when I am defending someone.  Anyone else
> >have
> >the same experience?
> >
> >Andrea
>
> I do.  Wonder if this is a gender issue?  Anyway, I feel impelled at times,
> to speak up if I am doing it for someone else.  If it were for myself, well,
> I might let the matter "slide."
>
> Dana
> _________________________________________________________________
> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com 


Daphne Greenberg
Center for the Study of Adult Literacy
Georgia State University
University Plaza
Atlanta, GA 30303-3083
Fax: 404-651-1415
Ph: 404-651-0400
E-mail: alcdgg@langate.gsu.edu



This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Fri Jan 18 2002 - 11:32:09 EST