[NIFL-WOMENLIT:1299] Re: interesting experience

From: AWilder106@aol.com
Date: Fri Mar 16 2001 - 15:36:11 EST


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From: AWilder106@aol.com
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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1299] Re: interesting experience
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I recently had a very useful experience, so I thought I would share it as we 
are on this topic.  I haven't seen my brother and his family for many years 
and I suffer at holidays from this loss.  I decided to go to a rabbi who I 
much admired to ask his advice on what to do about my suffering.  If course I 
told him about my early incest, and a lot of other bad things that have 
happened to me. He was shocked and upset, a very honest man and honest 
reaction and very helpful to me as a "reasonable" reaction.  I said I 
identified with Joseph in the Bible, and he suggested that Job sounded more 
accurate.  He also suggested I construct a new life.  

I converted and became a Jew 14 years ago, was originally a Protestant.  I 
sought out a new way to live, what I call a 'lateral move," didn't cost much, 
and certainly gave me lots of new reading.

I was profoundly affected by the meeting with the rabbi.  I will always sob 
about my missing family, especially like now, moving into a holiday season, 
but at least I have some idea of who I am, what cultural space I can fit into 
as a person.  This unusual man gave me a role and a metaphor for living, so 
building it is, as I talk to you all from the construction front.  I take 
this all quite literally, and am having work done on the house.  It's very 
comforting to have the construction guys working away on the third floor.

I think women have to "come out" of whatever they are emerging from in their 
own way, at least I did.  I can stand up in a group if it suits, but I sure 
wouldn't push this on anyone, and I sort of object to putting a person in a 
position of either lying, by not standing, or doing something that is just 
too hard, and really it's not anyone else's business, is it?    

Andrea



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