[NIFL-WOMENLIT:1304] asking people to stand

From: Daphne Greenberg (alcdgg@langate.gsu.edu)
Date: Tue Mar 20 2001 - 09:03:07 EST


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From: "Daphne Greenberg" <alcdgg@langate.gsu.edu>
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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:1304] asking people to stand
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Andrea,
Thanks for sharing this useful experience.  I am especially taken with your last comment of "putting a person in a position of either lying, by not standing, or doing something that is just too hard, and really it's not anyone else's business, is it?"
Many workshops, often start with ice breakers that ask people to do just that!  I never thought how we are really asking people to lie if they do not stand!
Daphne


>>> AWilder106@aol.com 03/16/01 15:42 PM >>>
I recently had a very useful experience, so I thought I would share it as we 
are on this topic.  I haven't seen my brother and his family for many years 
and I suffer at holidays from this loss.  I decided to go to a rabbi who I 
much admired to ask his advice on what to do about my suffering.  If course I 
told him about my early incest, and a lot of other bad things that have 
happened to me. He was shocked and upset, a very honest man and honest 
reaction and very helpful to me as a "reasonable" reaction.  I said I 
identified with Joseph in the Bible, and he suggested that Job sounded more 
accurate.  He also suggested I construct a new life.  

I converted and became a Jew 14 years ago, was originally a Protestant.  I 
sought out a new way to live, what I call a 'lateral move," didn't cost much, 
and certainly gave me lots of new reading.

I was profoundly affected by the meeting with the rabbi.  I will always sob 
about my missing family, especially like now, moving into a holiday season, 
but at least I have some idea of who I am, what cultural space I can fit into 
as a person.  This unusual man gave me a role and a metaphor for living, so 
building it is, as I talk to you all from the construction front.  I take 
this all quite literally, and am having work done on the hous.  It's very 
comforting to have the construction guys working away on the third floor.

I think women have to "come out" of whatever they are emerging from in their 
own way, at least I did.  I can stand up in a group if it suits, but I sure 
wouldn't push this on anyone, and I sort of object to putting a person in a 
position of either lying, by not standing, or doing something that is just 
too hard, and really it's not anyone else's business, is it?    

Andrea



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