[NIFL-WOMENLIT:2845] Re: bullying

From: Bertha Mo (bertiemo@yahoo.com)
Date: Tue Feb 17 2004 - 10:41:21 EST


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From: Bertha Mo <bertiemo@yahoo.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:2845] Re: bullying
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This reinforces for me the importance of beginning
groups and classes with a participatory discussion of
groundrules for appropriate behavior. The discussion
needs to be participatory as the rules which are
developed need buy-in from everyone and shouldn't just
be from the teacher...

It's not too late to discuss ground rules now and I
would also suggest that"bullying" complete with
vocabulary etc. would be an appropriate content area
for this class and perhaps the entire school.  

Bertie Mo, Ph.D., MPH
Medical Anthropology
--- Daphne Greenberg <ALCDGG@langate.gsu.edu> wrote:
> Have any of you experienced bullying in your
> classrooms? An incident occurred recently in one of
> my adult literacy research classes and it bothers me
> a great deal. There are two more weeks left to the
> class, and one student dropped out because she was
> bullied by two other students. Here are the
> specifics:
> There are 4 students in this class-three women and
> one man (all in their mid twenties/early thirties).
> All along, the teacher had to intervene between two
> of the women. Basically, Cindy did not know how to
> read social cues. She would say/do something that
> would normally not receive a negative reaction from
> most people. But Melissa would always react
> negatively. Unfortunately, Cindy would not
> understand, and while most people would back off,
> Cindy would continue addressing Melissa in such a
> way that Melissa would get more and more upset with
> Cindy. One day, Julie joined in and yelled at Cindy.
> Now with both Julie and Melissa ganging up against
> Cindy, Cindy decided that she couldn't take it
> anymore. When the teacher tried to talk to all three
> of them, Melissa, in front of Cindy said: I have
> been in jail before, my family knows how I can be
> when I am upset. Cindy has also told Melissa in the
> hall way that she will beat her up if necessary.
> Cindy decided that for her safety, she!
>  would drop out of this class, but continue
> attending her other class. She did not want us to
> talk to Melissa or Julie because she was scared that
> they would retaliate against her. Our approach with
> Cindy was a supportive one. We told her that we were
> proud of her that she is taking care of herself,
> that she is doing what she needs to do in order to
> keep herself safe. We also told her that we still
> considered her to be part of the class, we would
> therefore offer her everything that all the others
> would be getting-a chance to attend the end of class
> celebration, a certificate of participation, a
> chance to engage in two more testing points (there
> is a small stipend involved). We have also offered
> to meet with her one on one so that she can continue
> to get the same literacy instruction as the others.
> My problem-Julie and Melissa are being rewarded for
> their behavior. Cindy's behaviors/conversations/etc.
> bothered them and now she is no longer in class.
> This is problematic for two reasons:
> 1. Julie and Melissa are not being given an
> opportunity to learn that this kind of behavior is
> inappropriate/unacceptable.
> 2. Cindy, the victim in all of this is being
> punished-she dropped out of a class that she
> enjoyed.
> All three of these individuals have abuse histories.
> Two of the three have learned to cope in one way,
> the third in a different way. All three have
> repeated the pattern that they are used to in their
> interactions with others.
> Cindy has repeatedly said that she does not want us
> to talk to Julie or Melissa-she is very scared of
> them. Whether she needs to be or not-does not
> matter-she is scared. The only good thing that comes
> out of it for her is that she got out of the abusive
> situation, and was supported by others in her
> decision. She will also have an opportunity to get
> the material that she will be missing in the class.
> However, what about Julie and Melissa?????
> Any ideas?
> Thanks,
> Daphne
> 
> Daphne Greenberg
> Associate Director
> Center for the Study of Adult Literacy
> MSC 6A0360
> Georgia State University
> 33 Gilmer Street SE Unit 6
> Atlanta, GA 30303-3086
> phone: 404-651-0127
> fax:404-651-4901
> dgreenberg@gsu.edu
> 



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