Janet,
Thanks for sharing how you use the word "us" when in discussions about survivors. In my classrooms, as often as I can remember, I also try to use the word "us" when talking about diversity-whether it is about trauma, age, health, race, orientation issues, religion, spirituality, etc., etc. 
My question to you and to others who wish to join in-should we be using the word "us" when talking about perpetrators as well? What would be the consequences of that type of inclusion? Would we be "normalizing" perpetrating behavior? Would that be good or bad? On the one hand, by doing it-we may be helping to demystify the myth that only "others" can perpetrate-not our doctors, our teachers, our lawyers, our plumbers, our neighbors, etc., etc. If we begin to realize how common it is, maybe there will be more of a societal outrage to get it to stop, or at least have stricter laws against perpetrators of abuse. On the other hand, perhaps, by doing this we would make perpetrators feel too welcome in our classes. But on the other hand, many would argue that it is a teacher's job to make everyone feel as welcome as possible. But then again, many survivors need class as a safe place. To verbally suggest that there may be perpetrators in the classroom may be very triggering....
I could go on and on. Thanks for engaging in this discussion!
Daphne 


>>> "Isserlis, Janet" <Janet_Isserlis at brown.edu> 12/20/08 10:08 PM >>>

Daphne and all

When I've worked with adult literacy practitioners who are addressing or thinking about topics of abuse, I frame part of the discussion by saying that I don't need to know who among us (I try always to use "us" when in discussions about survivors) may have survived some traumatic event, but I do know that I need to be mindful of behaviors/actions/language that can be damaging to anyone.  I talk about universal design (the curb cuts are good for wheelchairs and for shopping carts) ..  trying to make the point that *knowing* who it is among us may have had an experience of abuse or of trauma, we all need to be aware of treating one another with respect and care.

When you say:


> Would acknowledging the fact that we

> come into contact with both survivors and perpetrators in our classrooms

> start to place abuse out in the open and therefore make it more of an issue

> that society can't ignore? 


-- it makes me think about offering this as a possibility as well - that we may not know who among us has had experience as an abuser or as a victim, but we do know that in order for learning to occur, everyone needs to feel safe.

Much, though, to think about.  Not so sure about this last suggestion of mine.  I do know that I've shared your thinking /wondering about people around us who have been perpetrators and/or victims.  It occurs to me not infrequently.

thanks for raising this.

Janet Isserlis


-----Original Message-----
From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov on behalf of Daphne Greenberg
Sent: Sat 12/20/2008 8:30 PM
To: diversity at nifl.gov
Subject: [Diversity 279] Re: abusers in our classrooms
 
Possibly, in the same way that we can all be scared by thinking about something that we don't like to think about. By the time this came up, it was almost the end of a semester. A climate had long been established of safety and trust. We already had had many numerous conversations about diversity, and about how we are all "the other" depending on the context. So I felt okay mentioning it and sharing my thoughts. I wouldn't have necessarily shared something like this on the first day of class!


>>> "Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt" <katherine.gotthardt at gmail.com> 12/20/08 8:21 PM >>>

Daphne, Do you think you scared people when you said you might have
perpetrators in the class?  I know that would have freaked me right out if I
were a student.  It's not something many of us like to think about.

On Sat, Dec 20, 2008 at 5:04 PM, Daphne Greenberg <alcdgg at langate.gsu.edu>wrote:


> The recent request for textbooks on family violence has reminded me that I

> have been meaning to share and seek feedback from this list regarding a

> realization that I have had recently.

>

> A few weeks ago, my graduate class on adult learning read an article which

> talked about students and instructors sharing trauma in the classroom. This

> sparked many reactions for students in my classroom and I shared the

> following:

>

> I have two minds about this topic. On the one hand, most instructors are

> not counselors/therapists, and sharing about trauma in a class that is not

> focused on that can be very triggering to survivors of abuse. In every

> class, depending on how large the class is, there is guaranteed to be one or

> more survivors of abuse, and therefore it may not be such a great idea. On

> the other hand, until we start to talk openly about this, society can go on

> pretending that it is not as common as it really is, and in a sense continue

> to facilitate the occurrence of abuse because it is seen as something that

> happens to "the other" and not a common day occurrence of so many people

> that we come into contact with.

>

> While I was saying the above, I said something like, due to the numbers in

> this class I am sure that we have survivors of abuse. Based on the numbers,

> I don't know if we have perpetrators of abuse, because I don't know the

> statistics of the numbers of abusers in our society. But there is a

> possibility that there is at least one "perpetrator" of abuse in this

> class-because we like to have a myth around who is and can be a

> perpetrator-but it is only a myth. Perpetrators can be well educated, they

> can be friendly, they can be likable, etc., etc. They can be one of us. Just

> like survivors are one of us.

>

> The realization that I had after this class, was the deep understanding

> that chances are abusers are amongst our very midst, not just in our

> neighborhoods, but in our professional lives. At my most recent faculty

> meeting of easily 200 or more people, I suddenly deeply realized that in

> this audience there is a good chance that there is someone who could be a

> child molester, a partner abuser, a rapist, etc., etc. I realized that out

> of all the students that I have taught and will continue to come into

> contact with, there will be someone who has or is perpetuating abuse. It

> made me realize that just as there are survivors on this list, there may

> also be perpetrators. These realizations hit me hard.

>

> We often talk about the importance of realizing that some of our adult

> literacy students may have endured or may be enduring violence. It seems

> that we rarely talk about the fact that some of our adult literacy students

> may have perpetuated or be currently perpetuating abuse. I wonder why this

> is so. Is it easier to identify with survivors of abuse than it is to

> identify with perpetrators of abuse? Would acknowledging the fact that we

> come into contact with both survivors and perpetrators in our classrooms

> start to place abuse out in the open and therefore make it more of an issue

> that society can't ignore? What implications does it potentially have for

> instruction in the adult literacy classroom?

>

> Any thoughts?

>

> Daphne

>

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-- 
Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt
www.LuxuriousChoices.net

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