Andrea, I so understand this.  I'm a proud survivor myself.  But that
doesn't mean I haven't changed my approach to life in general.  Part of this
has included massive weight gain which is so unhealthy, I have to make a
return to a little more feminity than I might prefer.  But some needs
outweigh others (no pun intended).

Sunglasses are a shield.  I wear them often. Post-trauma and suffering from
PTSD, I got a volunteer job at a national park where I worked with all men.
I thought it would be therapeutic, but it turned out to be a disaster.  I
used to wear my sunglasses as often as I could, especially to avoid meeting
my supervisor's eyes.  If the eyes are windows to the soul, the last thing
you want to do is give access to them.

I've also discovered colleges aren't safe places either.  As you mention,
there are predators and abusers sitting in our classrooms.  I never even
thought it could happen because I also looked at education as a safe haven.
It was indeed a sad discovery when I learned I was wrong.  After that and
harassment, I couldn't teach live anymore.  I would break down in the
classroom.

After years of subsequent hiding out, I've started a new writing career in
which I can decide when and where I want to be, and I don't have to put
myself in potentially dangerous situations if I don't want to.

Bless you for your courage and for all women who have overcome.  We are the
strength we are looking for.


On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 8:44 PM, Andrea Wilder <andreawilder at comcast.net>wrote:


> As a survivor of abuse, I can tell you that the damage to the body

> and the psyche that abuse creates can be severe..  For example, for

> years, when I have been able to, I have crossed the street rather

> than walk past a man coming toward me.  I now often wear sunglasses

> to make me "invisible."  i dress down in Cambridge and I blend in

> with students, another invisibility.  I am happy in class because

> everyone is sitting down and someone (else) is usually in control.

> Your students may be similar to me in this way.

>

> Andrea

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-- 
Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt
www.LuxuriousChoices.net
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