Katherine-you ask how topics of violence get brought up in adult literacy situations. I can give three examples that I have experienced. As Janet indicates, none of the experiences were times when I purposely introduced the topic of family violence.

1. I was testing a male student. It was clear to me that he was beginning to zone out on me. I asked him if he wanted to stop. He apologized and shared that he was thinking about his mother who frequently coerced him into having sex with her. He shared that he was trying to figure out how he could avoid it tonight. He was a man in his late 20's who still lived at home and had been abused by his mother for as long as he could remember. I listened as he talked and shared. I asked him if he wanted to go to the police and he said no. I asked him if he wanted to get referrals for free counseling to help him come up with strategies and he said yes. I gave him the referrals. I do not know what happened-he never brought it up again and after half a year of actively participating in class, I never saw him again.

2. I was interacting with a potential female student who was thinking of coming to literacy classes. Every time I mentioned a day/time, she indicated that her boyfriend wouldn't like her to go that day/time. After I went through every possible day and time, I asked her when she would ideally be able to come to class. She paused, then burst into tears, saying that she realized that her boyfriend would never allow her to go to class. I asked her if she could come to class without him knowing and she said no. I asked her what would happen if she came to class anyway. She said that "he would beat me up very badly." I said that perhaps while she was staying with him, that perhaps it was not a great idea to come to class. She cried that she wanted to learn to read better. I told her that she can always learn to read, but right now it seemed to me that she had a more important issue at hand, and that was what to do about the boyfriend. I gave her all kinds of referrals (police, counseling, shelters) and my business card. I told her to please stay in touch and that I had faith in her that she would decide on the best strategy on what to do about her boyfriend and that I knew that one day she would achieve her reading dreams. I never saw her again, but a friend of hers every now and then tells me that her friend says hello.

3. In a class reading a story where abuse was peripherally mentioned, quite a few students in their reaction papers wrote about abuse they had suffered, or continued to suffer. They read their papers out loud, which led to a class discussion. This led to a visitor from a mental health clinic who talked about family violence with the class. 

Daphne

>>> Janet Isserlis <Janet_Isserlis at brown.edu> 12/23/08 6:56 PM >>>

Katherine

I don't believe that we're talking about introducing  discussions about
violence as such (although in some instances, this becomes a matter of class
content because learners want to know more about it, or because, or
because..).

A better overview than I can provide is at http://www.jennyhorsman.com - go
to the articles section and see the piece entitled, But I'm not a Therapist.
I think it might be useful in thinking about these ideas in terms of adult
literacy/language learning?
and/or others on the list might be able to point to key pieces of that
writing?

thanks

Janet



From: Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt <katherine.gotthardt at gmail.com>
Reply-To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List <diversity at nifl.gov>
Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:31:36 -0500
To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List <diversity at nifl.gov>
Subject: [Diversity 296] Re: abusers in our classrooms

I'm curious what you all teach that this topic would be appropriate and/or
useful to discuss in class.  I initially voiced my concern that mentioning
potential abusers in the classroom would frighten students and indeed create
a space of mistrust and fear.  In what context would this even come up?  I
work with ESOL students, and most of the classes the program provides are
grammar and language related.  I can't see how discussions like these would
fit into the curriculum.

On Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 5:42 PM, Mohr, James <JMohr at iel.spokane.edu> wrote:

> Hello all,

> 

> I have only recently joined this list and I am finding this conversation

> incredibly enlightening.  It is making me think about how do I work with

> survivors and perpetrators in different settings.

> 

> I am also thinking about another issue that seems to be playing out on

> this list.  Based on assumptions I am making on people's names, it

> appears this conversation is being driven almost exclusively by women.

> We, men, appear to be quiet on this issue.

> 

> This has me thinking about how do men work with these issues in the

> classroom, if at all?  How do we work with women survivors who may have

> trust issues with men, especially men in a position of authority?  Also,

> how do we work with men who are survivors of abuse and with female

> perpetrators?  I see men's involvement in anti-violence work as an

> essential component to challenging the way that violence is perpetrated

> in our communities, yet men often do not get involved with these types

> of issues.

> 

> This discussion has me thinking on a number of issues.  Thank you for

> this discussion.

> 

> Jim

> 

> -----Original Message-----

> From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov [mailto:diversity-bounces at nifl.gov] On

> Behalf Of Shaewitz, Dahlia

> Sent: Monday, December 22, 2008 1:32 PM

> To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List

> Subject: [Diversity 289] Re: abusers in our classrooms

> 

> Hi all:

> 

> Two things I feel are important enough to add.

> 

> First, we are all capable of doing really terrible things.  I think

> forgiveness is an important topic to address. How do different people

> (or cultures) manage forgiveness? Rather than focus on the bad and what

> terrible things people do.

> 

> Second, in my thinking, all people who perpetrate violence have suffered

> themselves. This is where victims & perpetrators (us and them) can find

> a common bond--suffering is a shared experience, a human experience.

> Yes?

> 

> Thanks for the opportunity for input.

> 

> Best, Dahlia

> 

> -----Original Message-----

> From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov [mailto:diversity-bounces at nifl.gov] On

> Behalf Of Janet Isserlis

> Sent: Monday, December 22, 2008 4:09 PM

> To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List

> Subject: [Diversity 288] Re: abusers in our classrooms

> 

> Daphne

> 

> Like Kate, or perhaps in ways other than those that Kate just describes

> -

> you're making me think, again/harder, too.

> 

> Don't think I've thought it through carefully enough yet.  We  certainly

> don't want to normalize violence.  And we do need to co-create safe

> space

> and room for people to respond to whatever is being said in ways that

> allow

> them to be heard.

> 

> At first I'd thought of framing this around 'mean' or wrong things that

> we've all done in different ways -  ways that we may have hurt others

> (with

> or without intending to).  That, though. can start a thread of thought

> and

> discussion that might not be productive and could be very counter

> productive.

> 

> And there's the whole issue of what right we have as 'teachers' to judge

> anyone.  Everyone makes judgements, but when we make judgements from our

> teach positions, when/how do we invoke certain power behind our

> statements

> and where does it end?  Would we want to know who the perpetrators in

> our

> classes are if we don't know already?

> As Kate mentions, in some communities, people already know who's done

> what

> to whom.

> 

> I once taught a class with a man who was there on work release from

> prison.

> I never knew what he'd done - only knew that I had to report his

> attendance.

> This was over 20 years ago - long before we'd started talking about all

> of

> this.  Would I have wanted to know? Have treated him differently?

> 

> Need to think on this and hope that others will join in - also want to

> re-read your questions and Kate's more carefully.

> 

> thank you all for engaging.

> 

>> > From: Daphne Greenberg <alcdgg at langate.gsu.edu>

>> > Reply-To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List

> <diversity at nifl.gov>

>> > Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:26:36 -0500

>> > To: <diversity at nifl.gov>

>> > Subject: [Diversity 284] Re: abusers in our classrooms

>> >

>> > Janet,

>> > Thanks for sharing how you use the word "us" when in discussions about

>> > survivors. In my classrooms, as often as I can remember, I also try to

> use the

>> > word "us" when talking about diversity-whether it is about trauma,

> age,

>> > health, race, orientation issues, religion, spirituality, etc., etc.

>> > My question to you and to others who wish to join in-should we be

> using the

>> > word "us" when talking about perpetrators as well? What would be the

>> > consequences of that type of inclusion? Would we be "normalizing"

> perpetrating

>> > behavior? Would that be good or bad? On the one hand, by doing it-we

> may be

>> > helping to demystify the myth that only "others" can perpetrate-not

> our

>> > doctors, our teachers, our lawyers, our plumbers, our neighbors, etc.,

> etc. If

>> > we begin to realize how common it is, maybe there will be more of a

> societal

>> > outrage to get it to stop, or at least have stricter laws against

> perpetrators

>> > of abuse. On the other hand, perhaps, by doing this we would make

> perpetrators

>> > feel too welcome in our classes. But on the other hand, many would

> argue that

>> > it is a teacher's job to make everyone feel as welcome as possible.

> But then

>> > again, many survivors need class as a safe place. To verbally suggest

> that

>> > there may be perpetrators in the classroom may be very triggering....

>> > I could go on and on. Thanks for engaging in this discussion!

>> > Daphne

>> >

>>>>> >>>> "Isserlis, Janet" <Janet_Isserlis at brown.edu> 12/20/08 10:08 PM >>>

>> > Daphne and all

>> >

>> > When I've worked with adult literacy practitioners who are addressing

> or

>> > thinking about topics of abuse, I frame part of the discussion by

> saying that

>> > I don't need to know who among us (I try always to use "us" when in

>> > discussions about survivors) may have survived some traumatic event,

> but I do

>> > know that I need to be mindful of behaviors/actions/language that can

> be

>> > damaging to anyone.  I talk about universal design (the curb cuts are

> good for

>> > wheelchairs and for shopping carts) ..  trying to make the point that

>> > *knowing* who it is among us may have had an experience of abuse or of

> trauma,

>> > we all need to be aware of treating one another with respect and care.

>> >

>> > When you say:

>> >

>>> >> Would acknowledging the fact that we

>>> >> come into contact with both survivors and perpetrators in our

> classrooms

>>> >> start to place abuse out in the open and therefore make it more of an

> issue

>>> >> that society can't ignore?

>> >

>> > -- it makes me think about offering this as a possibility as well -

> that we

>> > may not know who among us has had experience as an abuser or as a

> victim, but

>> > we do know that in order for learning to occur, everyone needs to feel

> safe.

>> >

>> > Much, though, to think about.  Not so sure about this last suggestion

> of mine.

>> > I do know that I've shared your thinking /wondering about people

> around us who

>> > have been perpetrators and/or victims.  It occurs to me not

> infrequently.

>> >

>> > thanks for raising this.

>> >

>> > Janet Isserlis

>> >

>> >

>> > -----Original Message-----

>> > From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov on behalf of Daphne Greenberg

>> > Sent: Sat 12/20/2008 8:30 PM

>> > To: diversity at nifl.gov

>> > Subject: [Diversity 279] Re: abusers in our classrooms

>> >

>> > Possibly, in the same way that we can all be scared by thinking about

>> > something that we don't like to think about. By the time this came up,

> it was

>> > almost the end of a semester. A climate had long been established of

> safety

>> > and trust. We already had had many numerous conversations about

> diversity, and

>> > about how we are all "the other" depending on the context. So I felt

> okay

>> > mentioning it and sharing my thoughts. I wouldn't have necessarily

> shared

>> > something like this on the first day of class!

>> >

>>>>> >>>> "Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt" <katherine.gotthardt at gmail.com>

> 12/20/08

>>>>> >>>> 8:21 PM >>>

>> > Daphne, Do you think you scared people when you said you might have

>> > perpetrators in the class?  I know that would have freaked me right

> out if I

>> > were a student.  It's not something many of us like to think about.

>> >

>> > On Sat, Dec 20, 2008 at 5:04 PM, Daphne Greenberg

>> > <alcdgg at langate.gsu.edu>wrote:

>> >

>>> >> The recent request for textbooks on family violence has reminded me

> that I

>>> >> have been meaning to share and seek feedback from this list regarding

> a

>>> >> realization that I have had recently.

>>> >>

>>> >> A few weeks ago, my graduate class on adult learning read an article

> which

>>> >> talked about students and instructors sharing trauma in the

> classroom. This

>>> >> sparked many reactions for students in my classroom and I shared the

>>> >> following:

>>> >>

>>> >> I have two minds about this topic. On the one hand, most instructors

> are

>>> >> not counselors/therapists, and sharing about trauma in a class that

> is not

>>> >> focused on that can be very triggering to survivors of abuse. In

> every

>>> >> class, depending on how large the class is, there is guaranteed to be

> one or

>>> >> more survivors of abuse, and therefore it may not be such a great

> idea. On

>>> >> the other hand, until we start to talk openly about this, society can

> go on

>>> >> pretending that it is not as common as it really is, and in a sense

> continue

>>> >> to facilitate the occurrence of abuse because it is seen as something

> that

>>> >> happens to "the other" and not a common day occurrence of so many

> people

>>> >> that we come into contact with.

>>> >>

>>> >> While I was saying the above, I said something like, due to the

> numbers in

>>> >> this class I am sure that we have survivors of abuse. Based on the

> numbers,

>>> >> I don't know if we have perpetrators of abuse, because I don't know

> the

>>> >> statistics of the numbers of abusers in our society. But there is a

>>> >> possibility that there is at least one "perpetrator" of abuse in this

>>> >> class-because we like to have a myth around who is and can be a

>>> >> perpetrator-but it is only a myth. Perpetrators can be well educated,

> they

>>> >> can be friendly, they can be likable, etc., etc. They can be one of

> us. Just

>>> >> like survivors are one of us.

>>> >>

>>> >> The realization that I had after this class, was the deep

> understanding

>>> >> that chances are abusers are amongst our very midst, not just in our

>>> >> neighborhoods, but in our professional lives. At my most recent

> faculty

>>> >> meeting of easily 200 or more people, I suddenly deeply realized that

> in

>>> >> this audience there is a good chance that there is someone who could

> be a

>>> >> child molester, a partner abuser, a rapist, etc., etc. I realized

> that out

>>> >> of all the students that I have taught and will continue to come into

>>> >> contact with, there will be someone who has or is perpetuating abuse.

> It

>>> >> made me realize that just as there are survivors on this list, there

> may

>>> >> also be perpetrators. These realizations hit me hard.

>>> >>

>>> >> We often talk about the importance of realizing that some of our

> adult

>>> >> literacy students may have endured or may be enduring violence. It

> seems

>>> >> that we rarely talk about the fact that some of our adult literacy

> students

>>> >> may have perpetuated or be currently perpetuating abuse. I wonder why

> this

>>> >> is so. Is it easier to identify with survivors of abuse than it is to

>>> >> identify with perpetrators of abuse? Would acknowledging the fact

> that we

>>> >> come into contact with both survivors and perpetrators in our

> classrooms

>>> >> start to place abuse out in the open and therefore make it more of an

> issue

>>> >> that society can't ignore? What implications does it potentially have

> for

>>> >> instruction in the adult literacy classroom?

>>> >>

>>> >> Any thoughts?

>>> >>

>>> >> Daphne

>>> >>

>>> >> ----------------------------------------------------

>>> >> National Institute for Literacy

>>> >> Diversity and Literacy mailing list

>>> >> Diversity at nifl.gov

>>> >> To unsubscribe or change your subscription settings, please go to

>>> >> http://www.nifl.gov/mailman/listinfo/diversity

>>> >>

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > --

>> > Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt

>> > www.LuxuriousChoices.net <http://www.LuxuriousChoices.net>

>> >

>> > ----------------------------------------------------

>> > National Institute for Literacy

>> > Diversity and Literacy mailing list

>> > Diversity at nifl.gov

>> > To unsubscribe or change your subscription settings, please go to

>> > http://www.nifl.gov/mailman/listinfo/diversity

>> >

>> >

>> > ----------------------------------------------------

>> > National Institute for Literacy

>> > Diversity and Literacy mailing list

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>> > To unsubscribe or change your subscription settings, please go to

>> > http://www.nifl.gov/mailman/listinfo/diversity

> 

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-- 
Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt
www.LuxuriousChoices.net <http://www.LuxuriousChoices.net>



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