This has been a very interesting discussion.  I'm primarily a health educator and a  medical anthropologist.  Whenever I give talks or teach a class, I always tell students that if they have a question, comment or are bothered by something that is being discussed, they can always speak with me privately after class or make an appt. to see me.
 
Every institute of higher learning I have ever taught at has a code of conduct which includes appropriate behavior.  Anyone who is out of line in class, should be asked to leave.  Either by the instructor or someone whose position it is to do that.
 
Even small communities should be connected with online or telephone abuse prevention services.   
 
Many people also stay in abusive situations because they feel there is no one to help them.  I'm on another list serve of a violence prevention network which extends across the US, So, if you feel comfortable, make yourself aware of the resources which are available in your community and make sure that the information is posted in women's restrooms, your office bulletin board etc.
 
The thing to remember is that you are not alone...and let your students know that they are also not alone.
 
Best,
 
Bertie Mo, Ph.D., MPH 

--- On Fri, 12/26/08, Daphne Greenberg <alcdgg at langate.gsu.edu> wrote:

From: Daphne Greenberg <alcdgg at langate.gsu.edu>
Subject: [Diversity 312] Re: abusers in our classrooms
To: diversity at nifl.gov
Received: Friday, December 26, 2008, 2:14 AM

Rosalind,
Thank you for your posting. You raise a number of good questions and points.

1. This is my definition of abuse:
Abuse is when a person treats another person poorly, whether it is with words
or with physical actions. When a person acts as if the other person does not
have the same rights as others that is abuse. When a person makes another one
feel badly-whether physically or emotionally, that is abuse. I wonder if others
want to share their definitions. I am especially curious what definitions can
and are used in adult literacy curricular that focus on family violence issues.

2. You are correct, different cultures do have different definitions of what is
right and wrong. I am not sure what to do about cultural differences when it
comes to issues like these. When the values are very different, I do try to
understand, but I cannot always agree.

3. And yes, you are are absolutely correct. Many individuals who are being
abused, do not realize it. Especially people who were abused most of their life.
I think that you raise an important issue, that people who want to help, need to
hear and understand. If someone does not realize that they are living in abuse,
hearing someone tell them that they are living in abuse can make matters worse
for that individual-especially in the beginning. This is another reason why we
have to think twice before bringing this topic up in the classroom.

4. And you bring up another good point. Why do some people stay in abused
relationships?  There are many reasons for this. Sometimes it is the safest
thing for the person to do, sometimes there are no other resources, sometimes
there are other obstacles. Every person needs to make their own decisions at
their own pace and each person deserves the support of their friends and loved
ones as they proceed down a very difficult path.

Daphne

>>> <RMurv at aol.com> 12/25/08 10:03 AM >>>

Hello 
 
I have been reading this discussion, and some thoughts came to  my 
 
mind as I have been reading the comments  and I have  comments and 
 
questions in this regards: My question is 1. How are you  defining 
 
abuse in the people whom you have encounter and taught? 
 
2. What perspective are you looking at the abuse?
 
My comments and thoughts are that 1. Even in this 21st century 
 
some people do not view as others do . As when Katherine wrote 
 
that she felt bad for mixing her students , unfortunately it  may have been 
 
a case of victimizing the victim in the community where she  lived or 
 
everyone new it was happening ,but feared to say anything  about it 
 
and feared the abuser.Or in the community it may not be  considered
 
abuse , she is just doing her womanly duties and accepting  what is 
 
happening . My comment : When and If the conversation come up 
 
you are being viewed by the victim as someone to fear ,  because 
 
you may  cause the situation to get worse or make the  victim aware
 
that what is happening is called abuse. Yes, I was a victim of  abuse 
 
and because I did not know or allow it to happen someone had  to show 
 
me and teach me what it was. When I say allow , by staying in  the 
relationship 
 
I did allow myself to be abused. 
 
 
Thanks 

Rosalind 
 
 
 
 
**************One site keeps you connected to all your email: AOL Mail, 
Gmail, and Yahoo Mail. Try it now. 
(http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp&icid=aolcom40vanity&ncid=emlcntaolcom00000025)

----------------------------------------------------
National Institute for Literacy
Diversity and Literacy mailing list
Diversity at nifl.gov
To unsubscribe or change your subscription settings, please go to
http://www.nifl.gov/mailman/listinfo/diversity
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://www.nifl.gov/pipermail/diversity/attachments/20081226/9288d81b/attachment.html