I work as the Domestic and Sexual Violence Coordinator in Chesterfield
County Virginia.  One thing I have not heard mentioned in some of these
discussions is whether there is a protocol established in your local
school districts pertaining to instances of domestic and/or sexual
violence in these districts.  Domestic and/or sexual violence is a crime
in the state of VA so instances of domestic violence should be reported
in a manner that will not place the victim in jeopardy.   I am assuming
that all teachers, counselors etc in your various school districts are
mandated reporters and in some instances child protective services and
parents should be made aware of what is occurring with students who are
in violent relationships.  If a teacher, counselor etc is aware of
instances of domestic and/or sexual violence and are not reporting these
situations through the proper protocol, if something happens to the
student and someone is aware that the teacher, counselor, or school
official has known about the instances of violence then teacher,
counselor, or school official could be held liable.  In VA  all
teachers, counselors, social workers and school officials are mandated
reporters.  
There is a video tape available through my office that discusses
instances of domestic violence on a high school level that you may be
interested in obtaining or viewing it is entitled, ''Open Arms? Open
Eyes!"  Copyrighted in 2002 you can call 804-501-5188 to obtain more
information through The Henrico County Community Criminal Justice Board
or you can contact me at 804-706-1272.   Also the Center for Disease
control has established various programs through out the United States
which discusses "Primary Prevention" as a means of reducing the number
of domestic and/or sexual violence among our teens.  "Primary
Prevention" deals solely with domestic and/or sexual violence through
creating program designs which establishes "healthy relationships".  You
can Google the National Center for Disease Control (CDC) to determine
who in your particular state has constructed "Healthy Relationship"
packages or programs via for teens. The programs through the CDC are
called the "DELTA Project" Our localities domestic violence task force
has established relationships with area schools to present programs for
teens which discuss elements of healthy relationships.  Our project is
called "Relate to Relate" Healthy Relationships Begin With You,  which
was established through the CDC grant via our state domestic violence
coalition.  We have approximately six diverse DELTA projects within our
state at this time.  

-----Original Message-----
From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov [mailto:diversity-bounces at nifl.gov] On
Behalf Of Pichard, Mercedes Dr.
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2008 11:04 AM
To: thecolbys at prodigy.net; The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List;
The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List
Subject: [Diversity 328] Re: abusers in our classrooms


Thanks to everyone for such an excellent discussion (and its many
threads) and the marvelous resources which have been shared.  
 
I am also a survivor of domestic abuse by my first husband.  I can
remember being dragged on the floor by my hair; I can remember having
heavy objects thrown at my face; I can remember being struck in front of
my small children; I can remember rage and anger as a daily part of life
when I was a victim.  Most of this violence against me happened with my
three young children as witnesses, between 1985 and 1995.  I can also
remember standing in front of a policeman in a Swiss village police
station with my three young children  (all four of us weeping copiously)
and begging the Swiss police for help getting my husband to stop the
domestic abuse.  I got no help from the Swiss police.   I ended up
"kidnapping my own children"  (that's against the international La Hague
Convention, which is another story)  and hiding the four of us back in
the USA, living on a shoestring budget but finally living in peace.  The
custody situation eventually got resolved, etc. etc.  
 
I am a proud survivor.  I got my Master's in TESOL and my doctorate in
Curriculum and Instruction between 1998 and 2006.  I work with ELL
teenagers and also ELL adults; I also design and create teacher-training
products in the ESOL and EAP worlds.   My oldest son grew up and went on
to beat his beautiful young wife, using her as a punching bag, as he had
"learned" to do from his father.  She left him and he is in therapy.  My
second son grew up, but is mentally ill and cannot work productively or
really function in society.  Only my youngest, my daughter, was too
little to remember most of the abusive events and is relatively
unscathed, although she is a very 'reserved' young woman now.  
 
I do what I can in my own classrooms.  Someone was asking for 'practical
applications' examples from teachers about their own classrooms and how
they foster safe environments.   I have a large classroom with a student
computer lab within it.  I always have many conversations with my
students dealing with co-creating a safe and "healthy" environment for
all of us, girls / women and boys / men.   I talk to the ELLs
specifically about the computers and the choices of websites they visit.
(Even though there is a firewall / filter, people -- teens and adults --
from many countries go to sites in their home languages, which
circumvent the firewall.)   I talk to them specifically about not going
to X-  rated or "bad" sites (of any genre).   I ask the boys and men how
they would feel if their mother or sister visited our classroom and
"something nasty" popped up onscreen, or even if their girlfriend were
sitting next to them.   This discussion -- which is not accusatory ---
and getting to know each other and feel safe in the classroom --- often
leads to other talks on other days about domestic violence, how and why
such things as abuse happen, what they all think about those things,
what people can do to prevent those things, what people can do if they
are experiencing those things, what the local resources are, etc.  and
the students hear a range of viewpoints and strategies.  Although
students do come up to me and share other things privately (like the
domestic abuse they endure), which gives me the opportunity to share
even more specific resources they can use, I have never had a single
student share out loud in a class that they were either a victim or an
abuser.  It's always "about other people", which I guess keeps it safe
and healthy for them.   
 
I know I'm a teacher and not a counselor, but I always seize the moment
when a discussion of this type is imminent in my classroom, be it with
teens or adults.  I do know for sure that people who are enduring abuse
or violence cannot learn or function very well, and I do know how it
feels to endure domestic abuse, so I'd rather have these open generic
discussions than not, in a safe and healthy environment.  
 
Mercedes
 

  _____  

From: diversity-bounces at nifl.gov on behalf of Nadia and Kevin Colby
Sent: Sun 12/28/2008 9:20 AM
To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List
Subject: [Diversity 326] Re: abusers in our classrooms






I have been looking at some of the websites recommended in the
discussion. Jenny Horseman's suggested by Janet Isserlis, and Focus on
Basics (Volume 5, Issue C, February 2002) in
http://www.ncsall.net/?id=245 suggested by Kate.  I realized what I
somewhat knew.   "But, I am not a therapist" is a legitimate concern but
to an extent an easy way out.   We, as instructors, can go beyond
referrals, which oftentimes are dealt with by overloaded social workers.
 
This discussion has brought up categories such as "forgiveness",
"privilege", "male privilege", "perpetrator", "victim", that can be seen
through different perspectives.  Feminism, religion, education
philosophies, moral values are all prisms that involve our subjectivity
and make us shy away or engage (disagreements expected as we have seen).

 
Challenge seems to be the key word.   Dealing with violence is somewhat
similar to dealing with diversity. Difficult but not that subjective.
Statistics talk. Just in case of violence against women: 
i) every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband
ii) 95% of assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men
against women
iii) 42% of murdered women are killed by their intimate partner
info at asafeplaceforhelp.org or
http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org/batteredwomenstatistics.html

In the light of these numbers, reading about the work of Leslie Ridgway
and Dale Griffith in York Correctional Institution was not only
inspiring but productively challenging because it does provide tools and
concrete examples of what instructors and social workers can do to help
individuals deal with anger, fear and resentment, and open the
possiblility of starting a healing process in different environments.
 
As our world seems to be permeated with violence, education must be a
safe and committed environment where children, teenagers and adults,
people from all background and venues can reflect upon these issues.
Challenging privileges, assumptions, prejudices is in itself a changing
agent.
 
Yet, knowing how hard it is for Mexican men to deal with their
privilege, aware of the potential sense of humiliation that comes with
the change of roles from "the man of the house" to Mexican immigrant,
and thinking of my very traditional family and friends (loved people
all)  my first reaction was "no way".  I can not deal with domestic
violence and I can not challenge male privilege because whenever I did,
I got in trouble.   Another piece is that in my experience students do
know each other quite well, and even with potential perpetrators (which
I might have recognized intuitively) they tend to be very protective
because there is another intersection, quite poweful, that connects them
all: adjusting with difficulty to a different culture, and sharing the
joy and pains of learning a second language under stressing financial,
emotional, and personal circumstances.   
 
Questioning ourselves, looking for relevant information (such as the
sites provided by Janet Isserlis and Kate Nonesuch), finding the time to
talk with the social workers in our work sites, asking colleagues with
experience in the topic,  might all represent that  "extra mile" but, I
am hopeful that it can pay off.
 
Anecdotal information.  During the first year I lived in New York City,
I had the honor to work with El Barrio Popular Education Program.
Unfortunately I needed help myself and ended working only one semester
there.   However, as I look back I remember that students made a
"fotonovela"  whose main theme was sexual harassment.  All students
participated and using a Freirean approach the plot built up and
culminated with the main character's  liberation from her perpetrator.
Good information about this program  is found in Rivera, K. M. (1997),
El Barrio Popular Education . In D. Taylor (Ed), "Many families, many
literacies: An internatinal declaration of principles, pp. 128-133,
Portsmouth, NH; Heinemann.
http://www.brooklyn.liu.edu/education/home/faculty/rivera_bio.html 
 
Nadia Quiroz-Colby
Houston, TX



--- On Wed, 12/24/08, Janet Isserlis <Janet_Isserlis at brown.edu> wrote:

From: Janet Isserlis <Janet_Isserlis at brown.edu>
Subject: [Diversity 303] Re: abusers in our classrooms
To: "The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List" <diversity at nifl.gov>
Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 12:32 PM


thanks very much for this Karen.
I think a lot about 'school' privilege as well.  For some of us,
learning/complying with the expectations of the classroom came far more
easily than for others.

When we're teaching (and learning) it's really important to be mindful
of that particular form of privilege (being good at doing school).

Many have written about the multiple layers of privilege and oppression
- and as Karen and others have said here, the more we understand about
how those forces act on ourselves, our colleagues and our students, the
better able we are to be responsive and proactive in our teaching
strategies and practices.

Janet




From: Karen Wyman <Karenw at nmcadv.org>
Reply-To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List
<diversity at nifl.gov>
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:08:40 -0700
To: The Diversity and Literacy Discussion List <diversity at nifl.gov>
Conversation: [Diversity 301] Re: abusers in our classrooms
Subject: [Diversity 302] Re: abusers in our classrooms

Dear Kearney, 
I have to disagree that Kate's comment is sexist. While most men are not
abusers and are not violent, most abusers are men, and most acts of
violence, particularly those acts against women, are committed by men.
It is not unreasonable, inaccurate, or sexist to conclude that "in any
ordinary group of men that some will be violent to a greater or lesser
extent." I think Kate was being very careful not to be sexist with her
language and word choice. 
 
Also, I'd like to suggest that students are not in classes to "handle"
their classmates; they are there to learn. It is the instructor's
responsibility to create an environment in which that can occur, and
that often includes being aware of potential problems before they happen
and intervening on behalf of the safety and wellbeing of all students. I
think it is an interesting assumption to think that these hypothetical
students are necessarily "non-feminist."
 
I think that privilege is an important piece of this conversation that
is being left out. I believe that, in addition to confronting racism and
sexism, we also have a responsibility to interrupt male and white (and
other kinds, too) privilege when it rears its head. I wonder if that
might be an interesting discussion: what can we do to confront the use
of unwarranted privilege in our classrooms? How can we interrupt those
conditioned behaviors that come with that privilege? Male privilege is
one of the many tools that abusers employ to exercise power and control
over their victims, and there are a number of ways in which we, as
educators, have the opportunity to either challenge or reinforce that
privilege.  
 
Respectfully, 
Karen
 
 

 

  




 



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