Dear list,
 
Here is an example of the conversion of an instruction in dense text  to an 
instruction with simple stick figure visuals.  The  instruction with visuals is 
a DRAFT that might be tested with a sample of  the target audience and then 
given to an illustrator/editor to turn into  the finished product - a hand out 
page, a web page, or read on the radio.
 
(Julie, I am not sure if the plain text format will allow the two pictures  
included below or not.  So I'll send it first without calling for Plain  Text.  
 Please advise.)
 
Background:  This is only one of many instruction pieces that a group  of 18 
volunteers prepared for government agencies trying to help Katrina victims  
deal with health and safety problems right after the hurricane.  The  problems 
were immediate, so the turn around time to develop the revised  instructions 
was less than 24 hours. (In 4 hours for the example  below.) In some cases, the 
revised information was available to  hurricane victims within 2 days. 
 
The original instruction was for people in their homes after the hurricane  
hit, and then for these people as they later returned to their damaged homes.  
(See Figure 1 below)
 
Comments on the original instruction:
 
1. Readability level of the text is approx 11th grade. Two grade levels  
above that of the average adult American. And under stress, reading  skills and 
desire to read drop further.
2. The title misses the key point - this is a crisis.  "How to deal  with 
Electric and gas utilities" sounds like calling about your utility  bill.
3. This 8 line paragraph presents 18 facts and actions - all of them  
important. But the text is without a break to absorb the information.  And  the 
research tells us that 18 is far to many to remember at one reading..
4. The text assumes that people know where their gas valve is located,  and 
what the turn-off valve looks like.  Few do.
5. The bottom line: This instruction will be of little or no help to people  
in crisis.
 
Comments on the revision:(Figure 2 below)
 
1.  A new title: "Hurricane or flood: What to do about gas and  electric."
2. .The instruction was divided into two parts: 1)Before you leave home, 2)  
Returning.
There is less urgency for the second part, so put that last. 
3. Simple visuals were added showing the action (behaviors) to be  taken.
4. Action captions were given to each visual.
5. Bullet text below 5th grade readability level. Short sentences  that focus 
on behaviors  (actions).
 
Could you do something like this with one of your instructions? 
 
best wishes,
 
Ceci and Len
Figure 1. Orig.  Text
 
Figure 2. Revised  and including visuals.
 
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