A short example: I find I inadvertently contribute to the silence when I
should speak out, just because the topic takes me by surprise and words
don't come that easily in such a situation.  I'm thinking about times
when someone I'm speaking with, usually someone I am having a casual
conversation with but don't really know, says something blatantly racist
and I am just dumbfounded.  I do usually say something, but later it's
all the things that I wish that I had said that come to mind.
Donna