Andrea,

That's the book I am struggling to read, to get into.
I give him full marks for adapting, that must have
been extremely hard; given the mountains, the culture
and the language. I also think he was extremely lucky
to have found the welcome he received, given those
areas. 

Cheers
Ujwala


--- Andrea Wilder <andreawilder at comcast.net> wrote:


> Ujwala--

> 

> Greg Mortenson of "Three Cups of Tea" succeeded

> because he was able to  

> learn the rules, I think his story is pretty

> dramatic;  shows what can  

> be accomplished when some one has the diligence and

> desire to learn how  

> to behave properly in order to get a job done.

> 

> Andrea

> 

> 

> On Apr 28, 2008, at 6:18 PM, Ujwala Samant wrote:

> 

> > Just noted a typo my post. It should read, "We

> call

> > people by their first names." Or, "It's normal to

> call

> > people by their first names."

> > Ujwala

> > --- Daniel Rizik-Baer <drizikbaer at gmail.com>

> wrote:

> >

> >> Ujwala-

> >>

> >> "> I think everyone knows the hidden rules, they

> are

> >>> just not in plain site.

> >>> Knowing that they are there is a big step

> towards

> >>> understanding.<<

> >>

> >> I think there is a huge leap of faith in the

> first

> >> statement. Rules are learned, through

> observation,

> >> education and interaction. How many of our

> learners

> >> have positive, direct, educational interaction

> upon

> >> arrival? "We don't ask someone their age or

> income."

> >> comes to mind. "We don't call everyone by their

> >> first

> >> name." When asked "How're you doing?" it is not

> an

> >> invitation to discuss your state of mind or

> being. I

> >> could go on..... I think there are things to be

> >> learned through interaction, and some through

> >> teaching."

> >>

> >>

> >> What I meant is much closer to what you

> described.

> >>

> >> What I mean is that people know the hidden rules,

> >> and yet do not know that

> >> they know them, Things as simple as which hand to

> >> shake hands with, or many

> >> other things that are cultural that may seem

> >> "natural," but in fact are

> >> socially constructed.

> >>

> >> So just as you said, rules are learned- but

> people

> >> learn them without really

> >> realizing they are being socialized into a

> >> particular culture.

> >>

> >> This is why I think it is so important for our

> youth

> >> to have the opportunity

> >> for world travel- to see how other cultures

> express

> >> their humaness, to see

> >> the simliarties and differences in how people

> live

> >> their lives may help our

> >> youth to open their minds to see how their lives

> are

> >> socially constucted at

> >> home.

> >>

> >>

> >> Like Katherine said:

> >>

> >> "We don't ask someone their age or income."

> >> comes to mind. "We don't call everyone by their

> >> first

> >> name." When asked "How're you doing?" it is not

> an

> >> invitation to discuss your state of mind or

> being.

> >>

> >> *I mean, if someone asks how you are, why should

> you

> >> hide how you are

> >> feeling?

> >> If I ask, don't I really want to know?  If I

> don't,

> >> then I shouldn't bother

> >> asking!*

> >>

> >> Well yes, if we took the statement at face value.

> >> But imagine if for

> >> everyone you said "how are you doing?" to, they

> >> actually told you about

> >> their life, allo the trials and tribulations etc.

> We

> >> would never get through

> >> our day!  It has become a greeting that means

> >> "hello" while appearing to

> >> show caring, which I do not think is necessarily

> a

> >> bad thing. Certain people

> >> really do want to know- close friends and family.

> >>

> >> *True we don't call everyone by their first name,

> >> but some of that depends

> >> on

> >> how they introduce themselves.  If a stranger

> shakes

> >> my hand and says, "I'm

> >> Jay Smith," then should I call him "Jay" or "Mr.

> >> Smith"?  And if he calls ME

> >> by MY first name, shouldn't I assume I can do the

> >> same thing in return?

> >> These are questions I'm sure ESOL students have

> (or

> >> don't have).*

> >> **

> >> I think this is a great example, especially

> because

> >> so many high schol

> >> teachers and college professors from the 60's on

> up

> >> have attempted to break

> >> down the academic/superiority "rules" created by

> >> calling them by their last

> >> names by asking their students to call them by

> their

> >> first names. A perfect

> >> exaqmple of people breaking social rules on

> purpose.

> >>

> >> A cultural rule that has been legalized is how

> >> people attain their last

> >> names. Did you know that for a woman to change

> her

> >> last name to her

> >> husband's name, it costs under $100, but for a

> man

> >> to change his last name

> >> to his wife's last name costs more than $300.

> These

> >> are rules left over from

> >> before women had the right to vote!

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> On Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 6:27 AM, Katherine

> >> <kgotthardt at comcast.net> wrote:

> >>

> >>> "We don't ask someone their age or income."

> >>> comes to mind. "We don't call everyone by their

> >> first

> >>> name." When asked "How're you doing?" it is not

> an

> >>> invitation to discuss your state of mind or

> being.

> >>>

> >>> But don't you think that's sad (except the

> income

> >> question in certain

> >>> work-related contexts where you are usually told

> >> not to discuss income)?

> >>>  I

> >>> mean, if someone asks how you are, why should

> you

> >> hide how you are

> >>> feeling?

> >>> If I ask, don't I really want to know?  If I

> >> don't, then I shouldn't

> >>> bother

> >>> asking!  If someone asks me to buy something and

> >> I'm broke, what is wrong

> >>> with saying, "Sorry, but I'm broke?"  We're so

> up

> >> tight and often

> >>> dishonest

> >>> in this culture.  (I'm back to the "hypocrite"

> >> thing, as you can tell.)

> >>>

> >>> True we don't call everyone by their first name,

> >> but some of that depends

> >>> on

> >>> how they introduce themselves.  If a stranger

> 

=== message truncated ===



      ____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and 
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.  Try it now.  http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ