The pragmatics of language use, for both written and spoken language use, is a topic that many instructors of ESL students find very important for their students' development of language skills as the differences in tone, word choice, body language, etc. across cultures often leads to misunderstandings. Mev mentioned several reasons why screaming is a particularly sensitive issue for women- I wonder if any instructors of women ever discuss such issues of tone, body language, or other pragmatic issues of spoken or written in their classes in order to help their students understand differences in speech from different perspectives. It seems to me that discussions of the differences in how tone, for example, is used differently by different people in different settings might be empowering to some women who might mistake one's tone for disapproval when, in fact, it's not. 
  Ryan

mev at litwomen.org, UNEXPECTED_DATA_AFTER_ADDRESS at .SYNTAX-ERROR. wrote:
  interesting.
I'm a big user of exclamation points -- to exclaim numbers of 
things...surprise or shock, emphasis, "don't miss this," strong 
feeling, or just excitement...etc. I went to the dictionary & 
discovered to my surprise that exclamation point is "used after an 
interjection or exclamation to indicate forceful utterance or strong 
feeling."
hmmm... perhaps a bit stronger than what I usually mean!

I don't think using exclamations points are screaming....but this 
question does bring up a curious culture-related issue. All caps in an 
email have come to mean screaming - and is considered rude. But there 
are many cultures where shouting, talking loudly, or being in someone's 
face is culturally acceptable -- and not considered rude. In my 
experience, these exclamatory expression behaviors are difficult for 
(and I know this is generalization) white, middle-upper class, european 
descent folks (usually English, Scandinavian and some others) but also 
for some communities of color, especially those of Asian decent. I've 
been around white working class, Italian, African-American, Latina, 
Jewish and other communities where speaking loudly and passionately is 
commonplace -- and often misconstrued by quieter folks as anger and 
screaming.

I think that screaming is a particularly sensitive issue for women. 
Screaming often is exhibited by someone who is being abusive 
(psychologically or physically). Screaming can be a cry of distress or 
anguish (a cry for help, a cry when a loved one is killed). Screaming 
indicates pain. But sometimes screaming can be connected with ecstasy. 
And sometimes, talking loudly is considered screaming when in fact it 
is usually passion-- and sometimes a real good expression of anger. 
Women especially are told not to do this. There's a lot to it -- and 
sometimes this is determined by culture and sometimes determined by 
gender-based repressions of expression. And many of these things are 
more easily understood in face-to-face communication where body 
language, facial expression, tone, and context provide helpful clues.

so, I guess the real question is this -- what are the cultural meanings 
behind screaming and why are they not acceptable in email? My problem 
with email conversations has always been that we don't get to use the 
important aspects of speech (tone) and body language. (For users of 
American Sign Language, this is the size of gesture & facial 
expression.) Some people are very good at using written word to express 
what they mean -- and to convey the emotion they desire. Others are not 
as comfortable with this and may come across as insulting when in fact 
they have not used the structure of written language to convey what 
they really mean. Email demands that people be "writers" in many ways 
that they may not be necessary in other aspects of their lives or 
writing efforts.

Does anyone know of a study on email communication that discusses how 
to use "tone indicators" caps & exclamation points could be some -- but 
also the use of the smiley face :) or sad face :(
or - as I've seen with youngsters , the alphabet: - cu at 8 - btw - and 
many other quick short phrases that often worries me about their 
"schooled" literacy capabilities! And how are such expressions 
culturally relevant -- to whom -- and why?

anyway, I think I'll stick with using exclamation points. I am a 
passionate speaker -- but I'm not screaming!
Mev



On Tuesday, December 6, 2005, at 02:56 PM, Daphne Greenberg wrote:


> Ryan,

> Thank you so much for raising this question. I am wondering what other 

> subscribers feel about the use of exclamation points in email. I use 

> them all the time, and never realized that some might consider use of 

> them as the same as using caps.

> Daphne

>>>> ryanryanc at yahoo.com 12/6/2005 7:23:20 AM >>>

>

> I have a question about the comments Daphne made about being 

> cautious in one's

> word choice, format, and the use of capital letters and jokes, etc. . .

> It concerns the use of the exclamation mark. I am aware that using all

> caps is regarded as screaming, but I wonder how people perceive the 

> use of exclamation marks- do readers consider the use of exclamation 

> marks as screaming as well. Even as aware as I am of the potential 

> problems that occur with email-- such as the issues you mentioned in 

> your posting-- I often wonder if people's use of the exclamation mark 

> is their substitute for the all caps, thinking that they can still be 

> screaming but not be so rude about it. . . I personally do not take 

> offense to the

> use of them because I am aware of the inadvertent communications that

> often occur in emails, especially when we are talking to people who we 

> do not know. However, the same people who are offended at the use of 

> all caps are probably just as offended when there is an exclamation 

> mark.

>

> Thanks,

> Ryan

>


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