Ryan, you have brought up some important issues about how to deal with
situations that can be very difficult with students.  Just to add a brief
answer to your questions, I found when I worked with high school students (the
first part of my teaching career) and especially now working with college
students at all levels of education (undergraduate through doctoral), it can be
very difficult sometimes when teaching materials, style and even just personal
views might not resonate in students for various reasons.  It's also extremely
difficult to encounter a student who shares an offensive point of view with,
and/or offends, his/her peers.  In my experience though the simple act of
talking with a student directly after class or asking a student to come to
office hours to have the opportunity to talk about the situation, comment or
whatever was in the shared experience is usually best.  Even if I am the one
who inadvertently offended a student.  One-on-one discussions have worked best
for me.  It diffuses a potentially difficult situation and usually has a
positive outcome.  Sometimes the student in question does not even realize that
the comment or action s/he said or did was offensive, and it gives a teacher the
opportunity to say the same.  I don't know if this helps, but I wanted to just
share some of my own experience with these types of situations.  They can be
extremely hard.

Elizabeth Meehan
English Education
Reading and Language Arts
200 Huntington Hall
Syracuse University
(845) 729-3971